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You couldn’t follow all of the advice given by the seduction community, when it comes to attracting women. Not because it would be too complicated, although it would, but because lots of it is mutually exclusive. You could never use mystery method, natural game and cocky/funny together because they advise you to do different things! So how come they work? They can’t all have unlocked the same ‘secret’ of male-female interaction if they don’t all do exactly the same thing. There are many roads to Rome and whichever route you follow, what will ultimately get you there is the strength of your convictions and the power of your inner game. I’m not saying for a second that all systems are just as good as each other, but that what really makes it work is the confidence with which it is transmitted. I could fill books about improving Inner Game – and people have – so instead what I’m going to do is distil the wisdom into a few simple principles. 1. Create your own standards for success There will always be someone you could envy if you tried hard enough. There isn’t an objective perspective of what is best: you could envy the wealth of the rich man and the Ferrari it brings but, at the same time, envy the simplicity of the life of the poor man! It serves no purpose to think about how other people are better than you. You should think how you are in a better position than other people and use this to foster confidence. Even better, make your frame of reference internal. The best comparison for who I am now is who I used to be. I can have real satisfaction in thinking about how I worked past so many sticking points from being the guy who was bullied at school to the guy who’s taking 10s home from the best nightclubs in the world. Keep track your progress. Make plans for the future. Cut down and cut out the negative influences in your life. 2. Eliminate the concept of failure The best PUAs are not those who have failed the least – they are the ones who have failed the most and learn from it. Rejections should be embraced because every time you get rejected you’ll have done something wrong, something you can learn from and not do again. You need to set yourself up to fail now so you can succeed later. Pick-up is something of a numbers game. Nobody succeeds 100% and if they say they do it’s just for marketing. If you’re the guy who approaches 100 girls a day even with a 5% success rate you’ll get more numbers than the guy who approaches 2 and has a 50% success rate; plus you’ll learn a lot more than he ever could. 3. Surround yourself with positive people and role models Most people drift through life. They stay the same, they never try to improve and never manage to change. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten. To bring about real changes in yourself you need to be with people who have the right mentality. You need to be with people who will make your feel better and encourage you, not those who drag you down. It’s okay to change your friends if they’re not congruent with the life you’re going to make for yourself. Find role models. You need a peer group to encourage change but change will come about faster still if you have someone who’s miles ahead of you and can tell you exactly what you’re doing wrong. If you want to learn anything in life you talk to an expert. Just the same applies for pick-up. 4. Control your own frame When I started going out, this is what would be going through my head: “this club is loud and scary, the women are like goddesses and I’m terrified to go and try to impress one with my routines in case it goes wrong and she blows me out”. I put myself on trial and cared about what I imagined everyone thought. Now, think how much happier this mentality is: “I am an extremely funny, friendly, sociable individual with a lot to offer everyone. I’m out to have a good time; maybe I’ll let some of these girls in on my good time; maybe one of them will be even be good enough for me. If not, who cares? It’s not about them anyway, it’s about me.” You can reframe just about anything so it puts you in a much healthier place. Nothing in the external world has changed between the first and second circumstance. However, because I changed how I viewed it I managed to change how I felt about it and acted in it. Always reframe situations better than you first thought of them. That’s it guys. That’s my wisdom. Changing your life is in your hands now.
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